Rule of Motherhood Number 243
by jessicakaycobb
Summary: A oneshot about the...interesting joys of motherhood. Lighthearted, fun. Hermione, Rose, and Hugo Weasley.


Hermione sighed as she let the warm water cascade over her aching muscles, drenching her hair so that it hung in a heavy blanket down her back; this shower was _definitely_ way past due. It had been a long, hard week, and she had been feeling so…_overwhelmed_ lately. She concentrated on the sounds of the water rushing down around her, the feel of the tile beneath her feet, imagining that her aches and troubles and stress were all draining down with the water that pooled around her toes. It was so nice…

"Mummy?" a small voice called from the other side of the shower curtain. Hermione sighed.

"Yes, Rose, darling? What is it?" she tried to ask as kindly as she could. She had left the bathroom door open – she always did, in case there was an emergency with the children – but she almost regretted it now.

Rose heaved a sigh that almost matched her mother's.

"Hugo keeps taking my stuffed rabbit," she replied in an annoyed tone. Hermione pasted her best mummy smile on her face and pulled the curtain back a bit to look at her six-year-old daughter.

"Darling, you know you have to share with your little brother. He's smaller than you."

"I know, Mummy, but he _won't leave me alone_." Rose accentuated each emphasized word with a stamp of her small foot. Hermione's smile was genuine this time.

"Go find something else to play with, and he'll leave you alone," she promised Rose. The little girl sighed again and disappeared out the door.

Hermione let the curtain fall back into place and shook her head, allowing herself a small laugh at the politics of her children. She squeezed shampoo into her open hand and began to lather her hair, already forgetting the small squabble as she inhaled the sweet, flowery aroma. Yes, this was most certainly what she needed today…

Suddenly an ear-piercing scream cut through the fog of contentment that had surrounded her and she snatched the curtain back quickly as a small boy with untidy bronze hair came skidding into the bathroom, howling and wiping tears from his round face.

"Hugo! What's wrong, sweetheart?" Hermione said in a rush. Her eyes went over his appearance quickly; he didn't seem to be bleeding or have anything broken, although he had obviously been the source of the scream.

"R-Rose…hit me! She hit me in my nose, Mummy!"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. Shampoo dripped down her cheek. She continued to hold the shower curtain in front of her as she stood in the tub, deliberating over whether or not to run through the house naked to find Rose and discipline her for hitting her brother. In the end she decided to take the low road.

"Rose Weasley! Get in here this minute!"

Rose appeared less than a second later, looking smug and holding her stuffed rabbit under one arm.

"Did you punch your brother in the nose?" Hermione asked, trying to remain calm, but feeling her temper beginning to slip.

Rose shook her head solemnly. Hermione sighed. Well, at least there was that. She didn't like her children being violent to each other.

"No-o-o, Mummy," Rose said, eyes wide and innocent. "I didn't punch Hugo in the nose."

"Good," Hermione said briskly, imagining that Hugo had just overreacted to his sister taking the stuffed animal back and invented the story, somehow. Rose never lied, even when she knew it would get her into trouble. She started to drop the shower curtain and lean back into the shower, planning to tell Rose to give Hugo a turn with the rabbit and be a big girl, when she was interrupted.

"I _kicked _him in the nose," Rose finished simply.

Hermione froze. A wave of hysteria washed over her so suddenly that she was extremely grateful she had dropped the curtain back and her children couldn't see the absurd smile that spread across her face. She struggled to bite back the wicked laugh that threatened to break through and ruin all her parental authority.

She took a deep breath.

"Rose," she said finally, peeking around the curtain and trying to look as stern as possible. "Tell your brother you're sorry. That was extremely naughty of you; you hurt him. And let him have a turn with that rabbit."

Rose groaned and rolled her eyes, but handed over the stuffed animal and mumbled an apology while looking in the other direction. Hermione nodded, satisfied, and Hugo took the rabbit with a large grin.

"You missed, anyway," he said, sticking out his tongue and running from the room.

Rose's small face darkened with fury and she ran after him, yelling, her long auburn hair trailing behind her as she left the room right on his heels.

Hermione stood frozen in the shower for a moment, watching them go. Then she burst into hysterical laughter, turning back to rinse the shampoo out of her hair.

Her laughter was so loud and buoyant that Hugo and Rose crept back to the bathroom door, stopping just outside it and peering in cautiously, stuffed rabbit forgotten behind them in the hall.

Rose looked at her younger brother. "What is she laughing at?"

Hugo giggled nervously. "Mummy's gone mad," he replied.

Hermione heard this and burst into new peals of laughter.

_Rule of motherhood #243: Everything happens when you're in the shower_, she thought as she laughed, helpless with mirth, all her stress and cares suddenly forgotten.


End file.
